Well, I have been watching the clock tick down to this day. While it is a fun-filled Labor Day for most of America, for many of us in the Vietnam adoption world it is a sad, sad, day.
It looks as if my Vietnam adoption is over for now. It doesn't look good for any "grandfathering" of dossiers. I still have a lot of faith and pray that I am wrong though. According to the article below it is over for me and many other people.
I haven't heard any "official" word from my agency....but it doesn't look so good. Is "no news good news". I hope so, but I am doubtful.
What do I do now? I'm not sure. I have thought about some of my other options but I haven't truely explored them in depth. I didn't want to give up on this adoption. I still don't want to. If US and Vietnam are truely not working together anymore, I pray a new agreement is reached in the future. I have completely fallen in love with the culture and the country. I have spent the last 2 years learning about it and dreaming of the day I will visit and bring home a child in need of a loving home. I will hopefully one day do just that. I guess my Vietnamese child just may be my second child instead of my first.
I don't know what God has planned for me..but I choose to follow his path. I know His timing is always perfect. I trust in Him. As sad as this day is for me, I can only cling to Him for comfort.
This adoption has definetly taught me a lot about faith, believing, and trust.
I am still learning...I feel angry, sad, disappointed, hurt, and so much more. I researched agencies, I waited, I accepted a beautiful special needs girl when others turned her down, I lost her, now it looks like it is over. I am jealous of all the families who chose other agencies, started after me and are home with their babies. I shouldn't feel that way, I know that. But, I am human....I have a heart and it is hurting. I'm angry, I want to blame someone! I know that is not right. I pray for these feelings to go away. I guess in time they might.
I will probably not blog for a while (it is just too hard). Please know that I appreciate all of you for supporting me during this process. Please continue to pray for the orphans and for US and Veitnam to quickly make the right decisions.