Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Update (sort of..)

Well, Sept. 1 has come and gone and I don't really have anything new to report. Officially, our dossiers have not been returned from this good news, is it bad news, is it no news? I honestly don't have an answer.

According to JCICS, Vietnam named someone to begin negiotiations on a new MOU. Will this happen anytime soon, will it "grandfather" dossiers that are currently still in Vietnam, will this person be pushing towards Hague Convention??? How long will that take? What happens in the meantime? I don't think anyone has any definite answers.

For me, I'm just waiting. It is hard. Actually, it is beyond hard--it is all-consuming! When I accepted the referral on March 7, I was told it would be around 4-6 months until I traveled to bring her home. Now, it has been those 6 months and I have referral at all....and a country that has officially closed to US adoptions.

How can I accept that? I just keeping thinking that I was supposed to be home with my child by this time---or in Vietnam right now---or at the very least getting ready to travel to Vietnam. It is beyond my comprehension that I am here in the US in absolutely no better position than when I began this process almost 2 years ago.....something just doesn't feel right about any of that.

I know that God can move mountains and I know that He has a plan for me. I trust in Him to follow that path. I just wish I knew where it was leading me.........All I can do is have faith. I'm trying really hard. I believe in Him and I believe I will meet my child one day.

I have researched some other options but I am still not ready to close the door on Vietnam just yet. I just can't accept it yet. I refuse to believe it truely is over. I feel such a strong pull to that country---I really do believe my daughter is there somewhere.

On another note, that beautiful little baby turned 1 year old this week. I pray that she spent her first birthday in the loving arms of a family! I hope she didn't spend it alone in a crib in an orphanage.

Here's hoping and praying for some news soon!!

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